sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
there was a trapeze. enough said
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
