I cockslap morals
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
