Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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