I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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