I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
