Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
