I just cut my nipple shaving
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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