addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
