and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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