girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize