Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize