there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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