I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I need moral support for this bender
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
