at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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