I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
