i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
