I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
ok first of all what the fuck
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
