She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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