it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
