just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
