I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
