oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
