The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
wow bdsm is so cute
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
