Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
