Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
oh god was she eating orange peels again
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
