Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
