census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
