A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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