when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize