me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
