Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
