Only a mothe r could love this liver
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize