Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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