I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
