Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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