You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
