We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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