That's intense
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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