whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
