DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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