I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
