i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
