So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
