I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
