My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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