Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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