Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize