I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
