I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
