Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
