I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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