Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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