i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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