she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
