I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
