She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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