There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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