I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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