I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize