I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
