Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
